About us

HSMC is a lovely little consultancy with people based in South Wales in Cardiff, in Buckinghamshire in High Wycombe, one somewhere out in Middle Earth between Kidderminster and Wales, and with its main office (right) just off the M5 on the Overbury Estate near Tewkesbury. We operate nationwide from Cornwall to Inverness, Belfast to Kent and have specialisms in audiometry, noise assessments, fire risk assessments and fire training, as well as other more general health and safety stuff.

HSMC people

General health and safety, noise assessments, spirometry, fire safety and training

Chartered Member of IOSHHSMC's regal viceroy is Adam who heads up the company and has worked in health and safety for over 20 years, which is only beaten by being an Accountant as sounding like a very depressing way to have spent your working life. He collects professional memberships with a passion verging on mania, with the current tally including: Chartered Member of Institute of Occupational Safety and Health, Member of the British Society of Audiology and Member of the Institute of Fire Engineers (TIFireE). He also has a degree in something, mainly proving that it is possible for man to live on chips and chocolate for 3 years.

Wage-slave number two is Kevin who goes under the job title of Lead Consultant. Kevin spent many years being on the receiving end of health and safety as a production manager faced with the responsibility for implementing the schemes dreamt up by his slightly deranged health and safety manager. He then switched to the dark side and works on audiometry, noise assessments, training, spirometry and general health and safety gubbins. Kevin looks after health and safety for Woburn Safari Park and Woburn Abbey, while in his remaining time tries to whip the other audiometry bods into some form of order.

David, Dale and Rob at Force India Formula 1 team doing audiometry

David in panto

You know those films where right at the end everyone thinks the bad guy is dead but suddenly he lunges back into life to run amok again? Well, sadly David was a victim of the recession way back in in 2009 but like a Welsh Freddy Kruger in 2010 he lept back into life to darken our doorstep once again. David, who rejoices in the title of Senior Technician, is based in Cardiff and is a man of two halves, working on our audiometry and spirometry services but also does fire risk assessments and fire training. And clicking on this picture to see David in his full glory is unmissable...

2015 saw the return to the comforting fold that is HSMC of a previous soul who departed for other shores, only to realise that his one true love is HSMC. Jack works on audiometry and noise assessments and making people puff into cardboard tubes in the name of spirometry. Jack is based in the cultural desert of Essex so we have provided him with a white car with tinted windows and loads of chrome to ensure he blends in when cruising the shopping mall car parks on a Friday night.

Audiometry and Spirometry persons

Working full-time on Audiometry and Spirometry in one of our trailer units is Rob. Rob was with Cheltenham & Gloucester before being conned into jumping ship to the warm welcoming arms of HSMC. Rob is navigationally-challenged and has been known to follow his SatNav into a ploughed field in Lincoln, not stopping to consider how unusual it is for A roads have gate posts on either side of them...

Another audiometry chap is Ben, now occupying one of our spanky-new van-based units. It has to be said that the gentlemen of HSMC spend far more time in KFC, McD's and scoffing Little Chef Olympic Breakfasts than is probably healthy and therefore do tend towards, how shall we put this, "placing a little more strain on their car's suspension". However, in Ben we have our very own in-house action man, with a history that includes dangling off cliffs working on the Eden Project and as an instructor in various 'outdoor pursuits', which let's face it is just a euphemism nutters in velcro-fastened day-glo clothing use for "attempted suicide"..

The other trailer-based unit is operated by Ian who joined HSMC in 2013 and is now a fully-fledged audiometry personnage with his own trailer and everything. Ian's speciality is taking the older vehicles in our fleet out of service by using driving skills equivalent to those of a blind teenager given their first go in a car.

And number four of the unit-based personnages is new-boy Dave who joined us in 2016. With all the possible names available to us in the world, how come we end up with two Davids just to confuse us? Common as muck they are. Anyhow, Dave is of Yorkshire extraction and operates the second of our lovely new van-based units travelling the length of the country from his home base in Sheffield and is likely to be heard on customer sites saying "Now then lad, 'ow's thee ears then, tha got owt or nowt wrong wi'em?".

Office personnages, or 'those who make it all work'

Julia fell into the pit of despair that is HSMC employment early in 2010 and works as the Office Manager, looking to bring new clients into the warm welcoming bosom of HSMC, scheduling the work and sending out the finished reports. She keeps us on the straight and narrow, making sure we turn up where we're supposed to be, making sure quotes are done and arranging hotels with views of motorways, gas works or brick walls, which is lovely.

Cathy joined us in 2014, in what can only be presumed to be punishment for some grievous wrongdoings in a former life, She inhabits the office (we are loathe to use the phrase 'works in the office' in relation to her for fear of it being technically incorrect), spending time on the general Admin to keep everything tickling along nicely and sending out all those lovely reminders of work which is coming due again.

Maia was a dog who had the job title of Senior Vice President - Postie Guarding Operations. Sadly she decided enough was enough and pegged it in March 2014 so HSMC currently has a vacancy for someone to hang around the office smelling a bit unsavoury, eating out of the bins and growling entirely unecessarily at people coming to the door. Failing that, Adam does most of those things anyway.

HSMC do not contract out work ordered by our clients to other companies meaning when you deal with us you really are dealing with us and not another third party.

HSMC are happy to travel to all parts of the UK. We have clients all over the UK including Southampton, Brighton, Skegness, Pembrokeshire, Aberdeen, the West Midlands, Edinburgh, Newcastle-Upon-Tyne, Cardiff, and Belfast, along with some small southern place called London. The more pleasant and agreeable the location the better the position clients are in for negotiating over price. As a guide: Skegness for two wet and cold weeks in February was not agreeable.

What is a consultant exactly? This may help explain...

And the legal stuff: HSMC is the trading name of 'Health and Safety Management Consultants Limited'. As we're sure you'll agree, that's a bit of a mouthful hence the 'HSMC'.
HSMC is a registered company, number 05244866.

As we hold medical data HSMC also takes data privacy very seriously and is registered with the Information Commissioner's Office under the Data Protection Act, registration number Z2413870.

"Why no OSCHR?" The OSHCR, (Occupational Safety and Health Consultants Register) was set up to, surprisingly enough, give  register of consultants through the UK. We used to be members via Adam but dropped it was a bit of a waste of time. Being CMIOSH is enough to be a member of the OSHCR, so the professional qualification of CMIOSH is the same, or indeed perhaps a bit better, than OSHCR, but with OSHCR membership you get the joy of paying twice for two memberships, the second of which has pretty much no value, hence we dropped it.

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